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Post by Rob813 on Jul 15, 2004 23:15:20 GMT -5
I agree that Karen did really want to get well. I think she finally realized just how serious her condition was before going to New York for a long treatment. Unfortunately, not much was known back then about eating disorders. I don't believe there were in-hospital programs for patients. Her therapist told her that she should stay and continue treatment, but she said she was home sick, had contracts to keep and a career to resume. So, she returned to California, probably too soon. Richard knew she was still in trouble. Many have remarked that you could see it in her eyes. I believe Karen was seeing spots before her eyes for a time prior to her death. No one knows if she mentioned it to her physicians. Anorexia is an insidious disease that is shrouded in secret behavior and devious ways of deceiving family and friends. The beautiful music she gave us conflicts with the dark side of Karen's personality. We're frustrated and even angry and it's understandable. Something wonderful was taken away from us. Ultimately, Karen would want us to go on with our lives. We have alot to be grateful for with the musical treasure trove she has left us. Let's look on the bright side of all this.
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Post by Superstargal on Jul 16, 2004 1:38:26 GMT -5
Hello Beth and to everyone!
I love reading all of your thoughts. We have quite an intuitive, kind, and sensitive bunch of Carpenters fans here. Beth, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts with us. The people on this site are so wonderful, and you feel like you can tell them anything.
Beth, I am truely sorry for the pain you've had to endure and I know that Karen's death made matters worse. I know the pain. I've had many emotional struggles in my life, and my struggles came to a head back in 1999 when my 17 year old cousin committed suicide. It was the worst day of my life.
I applaud you for writing to Karen. I think that was a wonderful thing to do, even though we could do little to help her. But you know, writing letters gives peace of mind and can be theraputic. I wish that I had had the opportunity to write Karen and Richard myself. I was just born in the wrong decade.
I know what you mean about premonitions. My mother and my gradmother have had those kinds of things happen to them. I love "A Song For You." It is so haunting, and yes, I think about her passing away when I hear it too. Of course, that song came out way before I was born, so I listen to it today and think about what would eventually happen to her in 1983. It's just so sad.
I know I've mentioned this before in previous posts, but a song that particularly disturbs my mother is "Now." She remembers driving in the car and hearing the song come on the radio. This was shortly before Karen died, and my mother was bothered by the song after hearing it. She always said that it was almost like Karen was saying goodbye in the song. Of course, my mother knew that Karen was not well at the time, and needless to say, she was very worried about her. Not too long after she heard the song, Karen passed away.
And yes!!! I couldn't agree with you all more! The eyes truely are the window to the soul, and Karen's eyes were magnificant! So full of life and joy. But when Karen got ill, you could really see the change. My mother would look at some of the later pictures that I have of Karen and Richard and tell me that she could see the pain in Karen's eyes. And you really can. Sweet Karen. We all love her and miss her so much!
I'm probably the "baby" on this site at 23 years old LOL! I never got the chance to really mourn for Karen because she died when I was only two years old. I grew up with their music, but I never knew about Karen's death until I was much older; maybe 9 or 10 years old. I was very shocked when my mother told me how she passed away. I couldn't believe that the woman with the wonderful voice that I grew up with had died! I remember my mother showing me a picture of Karen on the cover of an 1983 "People" magazine, and it just took my breath away. I had never seen a person look like that before, and I felt so bad for Karen. So it was from then on that I started mourning over Karen's death. And that was several years after she died! Like I said, I was born in the wrong decade!
Beth, I can sure understand your feeling of loss over Karen. We all feel that same sense of loss of a very dear person. We can also take comfort in knowing that Karen is resting peacefully above us. I imagine she is smiling down on us as we keep her spirit alive and well on this Earth by talking about her and listening to The Carpenters songs. Physically, Karen may be gone, but Karen is still with us all and will always be alive in our hearts and through the music, and memories. She has left a part of herself behind through the music that will forever make us one with her.
God Bless you Karen, and thank God for The Carpenters!!!
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Post by BethMosior on Jul 16, 2004 3:06:26 GMT -5
Thanx Superstargal and everyone, it is nice to have friends like you all and because of this web site I know, and have total confidence in the place where Karen is now, I knew it in my heart but now because I opened up about this, very upsetting time in my life, after about 25 years I'm finally at rest thanx ever so much, I am so glad that I was brave and shared this with everyone, words really can't exspress how very greatful I am to all of you I know that Karen would have loved this, she truely loved all of her Fan, like they were her friends not just Fans and loved making music Thanx, and I'll see you again Karen
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Post by beaner on Jul 16, 2004 5:07:59 GMT -5
Karen knew she was very sick but I don't think she ever thought she would die so having it happen so very quickly like it did, it was a blessing.
Beth and Dave, I believe you spoke previously that you both lost good people in your lives around the same time as Karen. I'm mentioned it before but I lost my Mom that same year in 1983, only in October. It was the biggest and saddest blow I've ever had to encounter in my life so far. It took me several years to get through all of this. There's a lot of people out there who don't realize what I went through. Sure, they do regarding my Mom but losing her AND Karen Carpenter too. They don't see where losing Karen would be devastating but being able to share all of this with all of you is so much of a comfort. I know that everyone on here would have felt like me losing both people.
I agree with you Enigma, after seing Karen on Merv Griffin in 1081, I knew there was a serious problem with Karen, possibly more serious than we all ever knew. She was so so thin, but during the interview I still found myself thoroughly enjoying watching her and Richard and forgetting about how she looked. She was so special.
Thank you, everyone, for letting me go on this time. I guess I needed it.
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Post by BethMosior on Jul 16, 2004 5:37:11 GMT -5
Hi Beaner, I'm glad that you shared that, I know how hard that must have been for you, and I know too, how good it feels to share such a burden of saddness people really didn't understand why Karen's passing really devestated me, some people made sure that i knew that I was mental for being so sad, it sure is nice to say now that they were sooooooo wrong and it really is soooooooo comforting, to now have a shoulder to cry on, I really feel so much better, and am glad you do too. Thanx ever sooooooo much for sharing I really miss Karen and am thankful for all that she has done for all of us. Thanx
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Post by beaner on Jul 16, 2004 16:51:03 GMT -5
A big thank you for KAREN and RICHARD coming into our lives.
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Post by Superstargal on Jul 16, 2004 17:17:41 GMT -5
Amen to that beaner! And I'm very sorry about your mother passing. That must have been very hard to get through; and to have it happen the same year that Karen died; ohhhhh what a sad time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's good to get things out. I guess 1983 wasn't a very good year for many reasons. I know when my cousin committed suicide in 1999 it took me at least a year to get through it. My counseler, my mother, my grandmother, and my friends helped me though that tough time. My cousin and I had grown up together and he was only 17 years old when he died. Beth, I'm glad that you feel better after having shared your feelings with us. This is truely a wonderful site with wonderful people, and it's very theraputic to chat with everyone here. We're all lucky to have you here as a friend too Beth! Take care.
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Post by cam83 on Jul 16, 2004 17:59:16 GMT -5
Hi All, Yes, we all have overcome the tragedies in our own lives. We must applaud ourselves for doing our best to stablize our lives and live life to the fullest. As Karen was apt to say before she died, "I've got a LOT of living to do!" To her good friend Dionne Warwick. I think we all need to live life as if it is our last days. We are not guaranteed another day. Tell people we love them, we forgive them, we remember them, we admire them, we pray for them, how they hurt us... etc. My grandmother died this week(actually step grandma but nonetheless she was always my grandma) and she was a week shy of her 91st birthday. It was a blessing she passed on. But the grieving is not the issue for my Mom, and her 5 siblings. They have to deal with the issues that their step mother, was not a loving, nurturing woman, but a cruel woman. And how to get past that. My Mom was 11 when she lost her mother at age 42 of cancer. My grandfather married the step mom a year later, despite his late wife's wishes that he not marry this particular woman(as she knew what this woman was like, and how her kids would be treated after her death). Well this new step mom was horrible to my Mom and her siblings. Mom was asked to not return home when she was 14 by this step mother. So my Mother had to deal with these horrible issues. When her step mother died my Mom was in England visiting and could not be back. But all the other siblings were there. And the day after the funeral they were able to talk, to really TALK about their true feelings, and lots of crying was done. And I feel for them. It doesn't really change my feelings to my grandma, as I always knew her as a kind woman, but I feel such love for my mother, and compassion for what she went thru at that age. She is a remarkeable woman!
My thoughts, Cameron
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Post by beaner on Jul 16, 2004 20:17:50 GMT -5
Dave,
This girl is very fortunate to have someone like you to care about her like that. It's all too close to home with what she is going through. Good luck and I'll say a little prayer.
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Post by enigma on Jul 17, 2004 23:16:34 GMT -5
I must applaud you all for bearing your souls here I do not think anybody here has not suffered loss in their lives and I think you are all courageous for shareing your stories. :-[I am sure Karen is looking down with great happiness that she has somehow created a community where people are free to share their losses beyond that of Karen herself. Her dream of helping people has come true. Dave take Karens example and fight the good fight try your best to help the young woman I hope and pray you win the war. Best of luck My love and prayers to all!!
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Post by BethMosior on Jul 22, 2004 22:48:37 GMT -5
I still love A Song For You, but it always has that memory attached to it, Karen does sing it so beautifully, with Richards beautiful but haunting music wow what a song
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