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Post by Kevin Van Horn on Dec 7, 2003 19:07:58 GMT -5
It is with some trepidation that I offer the following variation on the Carpenters' hit, "Close to You." I just hope I don't get kicked out of the forum.
Why do flies suddenly appear
Everytime you are near?
Just like me,
Quite pungently,
They smell you.
Why do birds fall down from the sky
Everytime you walk by?
Just like sewer-
gas and manure,
They smell you.
On the last day that you bathed
Your head lice got together,
And decided it was time to raise a roof.
So they sprinkled dandruff in your hair,
Affixed with globs of grease to waterproof!
That is why every roach in town
Follows you all around.
Just like me,
Quite pungently,
They smell you.
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Post by cam83 on Dec 7, 2003 19:50:03 GMT -5
Well, I had never heard THAT version of Close TO You before, but as weird as that it, I am sure that Richard and Karen would laugh themselves silly...or at least Karen would. She loved a good joke!
My thoughts,
Cameron
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Post by Kevin Van Horn on Dec 7, 2003 21:52:51 GMT -5
Then, of course, there's the version of "Ticket to Ride" that Donald Rumsfeld sang at a press conference after the conquest of Iraq. (I know, the Beatles did "Ticket to Ride" first, but the Carpenters did it better.)
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In spite of thousands of bombs,
It irks me to say, yeah,
Osama first, now Saddam's
Clean gotten away!
He's gone to Tikrit to hide,
He's gone to Tikrit to hide,
He's gone to Tikrit to hide,
I think, somewhere.
He said that Bush's armies
Were bringing him down, yeah;
He could never be free
With Franks' troops around.
He's gone to Tikrit to hide,
He's gone to Tikrit to hide,
Just where in Tikrit he hides,
We're unaware.
Don't know why our drones fly so high;
They're always searching,
Fruitlessly searching, to see
The hideout of this dictator guy,
They're always searching
Fruitlessly searching, to see.
In spite of thousands of bombs,
It irks me to say, yeah,
Osama first, now Saddam's
Clean gotten away!
He's gone to Tikrit to hide,
He's gone to Tikrit to hide,
He's gone to Tikrit to hide,
I think, somewhere.
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Post by smoothie2 on Dec 7, 2003 23:28:44 GMT -5
:)hello Kevin..I don't consider those too offensive ..after all, there are many entertainers who make their living coming up with goofy stuff like that all the time. Many get so tired of singing their most popular songs and come up with different versions for a laugh. Richard and Karen I am very sure would laugh. They were so clean cut and had such style with their music that they were considered very out of sync with the hard rockers of the 60's and 70's. They were considered goody two shoes..so if they came up with such lyrics off the beaten path..that would just be normal.
Richard especially, was unhappy with the way the media saw them..the perfect couple..and why would they be seen as a couple when they were siblings....but they surely acheived and went beyond all that by just doing what they loved.
smoothie
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Post by Moe on Dec 8, 2003 8:20:25 GMT -5
Kevin-
Did you write these yourself? pretty ingenious!
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Post by Kevin Van Horn on Dec 9, 2003 0:53:32 GMT -5
Thanks. Yes, I did write these myself. The first one was actually a result of getting the first and second lines of "Close to You" mixed together while singing to myself...
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Post by Superstargal on Dec 10, 2003 17:51:22 GMT -5
;DThat's kind of neat, lol!
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