Post by cam83 on Jun 18, 2004 0:52:36 GMT -5
Chapter Forty
By the time, Karen was ready to leave for the U.S., she found out to her shock that Kristi had died. She had just come in from shopping, when she got the horrible news. For a moment, she couldn't breathe. She was so shaken that she was in tears, and her heart was broken. Her own beloved niece…so young, so full of life…why? She was devastated.
She immediately made the arrangements to fly back to Canada, and would meet Jon in Regina. She wanted so badly to make it to the funeral. Karen also called Richard and her mother to tell them the news. They were just as shaken up about it as Karen was. But it felt good and weird talking to her family about it. About anorexia. It was still a hard subject to think about and deal with.
Karen was stunned on the whole flight up there. It passed by like a blur and she was using her energy up quite fast. She felt all her life just drain out of her. She felt as if she were responsible. Her beautiful niece Kristi, the one who had been one of her flower girls at her wedding to Jon. The one she loved, and cared more than any other child in that family.
Where was God? Why would he allow such a young girl like that die? She didn't have any answers…she felt like a murderer…if only she had done something different…
Jon came to the airport in Regina, and picked her up to where the family was staying. The drive to the house only took about 5 minutes, but to Karen it seemed like an eternity in total silence. No one said a word. Jon, with his free hand, put his hand on her lap. Tears came to Karen's eyes, as she looked at all the houses passing by. They arrived at Catharine and Derrick's home, and judging from all the cars around the house, most of the family would be there. Karen glanced in the car mirror, and she knew she looked awful, with dark circles underneath her eyes, and her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. But she didn't care. It didn't matter anymore, did it? She smoothed out her wrinkled black dress, and walked behind her husband as they walked up to the front entrance of the house.
They entered, and everyone noticed them, and stopped what they were doing. It embarrassed Karen greatly, but Jon put his arm around her and they moved into the kitchen, where Catharine and Derrick were seated. They were both very solemn looking, as if they had no more tears to shed. Karen headed straight to Catharine, and embraced the other woman, but didn't say any words. At a time like this, words were useless and meaningless. What could she say? Nothing…nothing could bring back a daughter and a niece. Karen almost felt herself crumbling, but steeled herself against a cry. It would do no one any good for her to start breaking down. She wanted to be the best support she possibly could be.
Karen went to see Jon's other brothers and sisters, and greet them. Everything was quiet, as if no one wanted to make it seem like they were talking, and having a good time socializing. Karen knew from past experience that funerals and weddings are usually the only time that a family can get together, and that it leaves very little time to catch up on each other's lives. Along with grieving comes laughter, both such real and strong emotions.
Karen wanted to go to the funeral home with Jon and see little Kristi, so they said their goodbyes, and got into their car. They made small talk on the way there, travelling down Victoria Avenue to the east part of the city, where the funeral home was located. They found it, and saw the building to be an attractive, albeit modern one.
They walked in, holding hands together. They found the room, and saw the open casket there. The room was very dimly lit, and the soft pastel colors of the room seemed to give them some sort of comfort. There was lots of flowers all over the room. Karen walked up to the casket, which was white and so beautifully crafted, and so shiny. She ran her hands alongside it, feeling the coolness of the coffin. She took a deep breath before she peered in. She was scared at what she would find.
Finally she looked in, and gasped. For there lay her once vibrant, and attractive niece Kristi May. Kristi lay as if she would waken up any moment, and wonder what was going on. She looked so small, and so thin…no, not thin, but emaciated…horrible looking, but also a vision of loveliness. A girl-woman of startling contrasts.
It hit her. Suddenly she realized that this could have been her at one time. She should have been the one laying there. She had been so close to death then, and now, she was the one viewing her niece's death. It shook her to the core, and made her so very aware of the horrible situation.
Karen reached out to touch her niece's face and felt the coldness seem to grip her by her heart. The tears came, as Jon wrapped his arms around her, and they both began to cry. Their little niece was no more. She was gone. It finally hit them. She would never talk again, or laugh, or love, or anything that young girls are supposed to do.
She cried for all who would suffer this horrible disorder, who would be snatched by Anorexia and her equally evil sister Bulimia. Karen dried her tears, and bent over to kiss her niece and quickly turned away. She left Jon alone with Kristi, while Karen headed to the other chapel and lit a candle for her niece's memory.
She prayed for her sister and brother in law and also for their family. Especially for Daniel and Katie, who were just devastated. It was especially hard to understand what good would come out of this situation.
Finally they headed back to the house, to visit with the other family members. The funeral service would be held tomorrow, and Karen wasn't looking forward to it at all. Burying your niece was not the most suitable thing to do in the world. But it had to be done.
Karen and Jon stayed at the hotel for the night, as the house was already packed. She phoned L.A. to see how the kids were managing and to tell them the latest developments. Everyone seemed to be fine, except Lindsay who had a bit of a cold, but nothing serious. After talking to all of the kids, Karen even felt more homesick, and missed her children dreadfully.
The morning of the funeral was a beautiful, crisp Autumn day. Karen put on a dark suit, with a white blouse underneath. She looked lovely, and she wore her long hair in a bun. Jon wore a matching colored suit, and together they looked the perfect couple. They drove to the church where the funeral was to be held. It was to be a big affair, as Kristi had been popular, although more withdrawn a few months before her death.
The funeral was held on 13th Avenue in the heart of the Cathedral area, an older setting of the city, with beautiful homes dating back to the early 1900's. This area of the city was named aptly because of the huge twin bell towers of the HOLY ROSARY CATHEDRAL, and the majesty of the building. The immediate family was in the side room of the church in the sacristy, where Kristi lay in her casket. The church was filling up rapidly, as the relatives all hugged and tried their best to console one another. The surprising thing was that the bereaved parents were consoling everyone else, but their grief, they would have to deal with later.
Finally the opening strains of the pipe organ began and the family headed to the front pews assigned to them. The church was packed, and it could seat a lot of people. Karen had been asked to sing at the funeral and didn't want to, but for Kristi she would do this. She chose the song YOU, and sang it with such elegance and simplicity. No choirs and no other instruments, just piano accompaniment and her vocal. She had to try with all her might not to break down and cry as she saw all her family, Kristi's friends all in tears. The ending song Karen sang an a cappella version of A SONG FOR YOU/WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN as the pallbearers lifted the closed casket.
They went to bury her at the Regina Cemetery. The procession to the Cemetary was very long, and the day was starting to get colder, windier and cloudy, as if a storm was coming to add to their pain. Karen wanted to cry so bad, but she willed herself not to cry. She would do that later. Karen choked back a sob, when, at the Cemetary, everything was so final when the coffin was being lowered into the ground. She held on firmly to Jon's arms, as if she would collapse.
Catharine and Derrick had aged so much in just the last few weeks they had last seen them. The youthful couple was now looking sorrowful and haggard. The reception afterwards was quiet, and went by in a blur, in Karen's mind. It all seemed like an awful dream, and she would wake up, and Kristi would come bounding in, with a warm smile and her gentleness filling the room. Finally it was all over. She could go back and mourn in private.
They flew back to L.A. the next day, and Karen just felt all numb. She was glad to be back though. When she and Jon saw all their children they screamed for delight. Danny, as they called him looked so healthy and loved his younger siblings. He loved to boss them around, and didn't especially like his younger sister Lindsay hanging around him…although he did like 2 year old brother Stevie, as everyone called him, hanging with him, as a younger bro is apt to with an older bro. Cyndi, as everyone called her, just sat around, and if not that, crawled around. She just watched everyone else. She still had a very quiet disposition. And the twins were too young to do anything, or really notice anything. They were just babies!
And Karen loved all her children. Her gift! She would treasure everyone of them, and be the type of mother, whom her kids could come to about anything, and everything. She would not turn them away, for any reason. She didn't want them to feel the deep insecurity that she felt.
By the time, Karen was ready to leave for the U.S., she found out to her shock that Kristi had died. She had just come in from shopping, when she got the horrible news. For a moment, she couldn't breathe. She was so shaken that she was in tears, and her heart was broken. Her own beloved niece…so young, so full of life…why? She was devastated.
She immediately made the arrangements to fly back to Canada, and would meet Jon in Regina. She wanted so badly to make it to the funeral. Karen also called Richard and her mother to tell them the news. They were just as shaken up about it as Karen was. But it felt good and weird talking to her family about it. About anorexia. It was still a hard subject to think about and deal with.
Karen was stunned on the whole flight up there. It passed by like a blur and she was using her energy up quite fast. She felt all her life just drain out of her. She felt as if she were responsible. Her beautiful niece Kristi, the one who had been one of her flower girls at her wedding to Jon. The one she loved, and cared more than any other child in that family.
Where was God? Why would he allow such a young girl like that die? She didn't have any answers…she felt like a murderer…if only she had done something different…
Jon came to the airport in Regina, and picked her up to where the family was staying. The drive to the house only took about 5 minutes, but to Karen it seemed like an eternity in total silence. No one said a word. Jon, with his free hand, put his hand on her lap. Tears came to Karen's eyes, as she looked at all the houses passing by. They arrived at Catharine and Derrick's home, and judging from all the cars around the house, most of the family would be there. Karen glanced in the car mirror, and she knew she looked awful, with dark circles underneath her eyes, and her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. But she didn't care. It didn't matter anymore, did it? She smoothed out her wrinkled black dress, and walked behind her husband as they walked up to the front entrance of the house.
They entered, and everyone noticed them, and stopped what they were doing. It embarrassed Karen greatly, but Jon put his arm around her and they moved into the kitchen, where Catharine and Derrick were seated. They were both very solemn looking, as if they had no more tears to shed. Karen headed straight to Catharine, and embraced the other woman, but didn't say any words. At a time like this, words were useless and meaningless. What could she say? Nothing…nothing could bring back a daughter and a niece. Karen almost felt herself crumbling, but steeled herself against a cry. It would do no one any good for her to start breaking down. She wanted to be the best support she possibly could be.
Karen went to see Jon's other brothers and sisters, and greet them. Everything was quiet, as if no one wanted to make it seem like they were talking, and having a good time socializing. Karen knew from past experience that funerals and weddings are usually the only time that a family can get together, and that it leaves very little time to catch up on each other's lives. Along with grieving comes laughter, both such real and strong emotions.
Karen wanted to go to the funeral home with Jon and see little Kristi, so they said their goodbyes, and got into their car. They made small talk on the way there, travelling down Victoria Avenue to the east part of the city, where the funeral home was located. They found it, and saw the building to be an attractive, albeit modern one.
They walked in, holding hands together. They found the room, and saw the open casket there. The room was very dimly lit, and the soft pastel colors of the room seemed to give them some sort of comfort. There was lots of flowers all over the room. Karen walked up to the casket, which was white and so beautifully crafted, and so shiny. She ran her hands alongside it, feeling the coolness of the coffin. She took a deep breath before she peered in. She was scared at what she would find.
Finally she looked in, and gasped. For there lay her once vibrant, and attractive niece Kristi May. Kristi lay as if she would waken up any moment, and wonder what was going on. She looked so small, and so thin…no, not thin, but emaciated…horrible looking, but also a vision of loveliness. A girl-woman of startling contrasts.
It hit her. Suddenly she realized that this could have been her at one time. She should have been the one laying there. She had been so close to death then, and now, she was the one viewing her niece's death. It shook her to the core, and made her so very aware of the horrible situation.
Karen reached out to touch her niece's face and felt the coldness seem to grip her by her heart. The tears came, as Jon wrapped his arms around her, and they both began to cry. Their little niece was no more. She was gone. It finally hit them. She would never talk again, or laugh, or love, or anything that young girls are supposed to do.
She cried for all who would suffer this horrible disorder, who would be snatched by Anorexia and her equally evil sister Bulimia. Karen dried her tears, and bent over to kiss her niece and quickly turned away. She left Jon alone with Kristi, while Karen headed to the other chapel and lit a candle for her niece's memory.
She prayed for her sister and brother in law and also for their family. Especially for Daniel and Katie, who were just devastated. It was especially hard to understand what good would come out of this situation.
Finally they headed back to the house, to visit with the other family members. The funeral service would be held tomorrow, and Karen wasn't looking forward to it at all. Burying your niece was not the most suitable thing to do in the world. But it had to be done.
Karen and Jon stayed at the hotel for the night, as the house was already packed. She phoned L.A. to see how the kids were managing and to tell them the latest developments. Everyone seemed to be fine, except Lindsay who had a bit of a cold, but nothing serious. After talking to all of the kids, Karen even felt more homesick, and missed her children dreadfully.
The morning of the funeral was a beautiful, crisp Autumn day. Karen put on a dark suit, with a white blouse underneath. She looked lovely, and she wore her long hair in a bun. Jon wore a matching colored suit, and together they looked the perfect couple. They drove to the church where the funeral was to be held. It was to be a big affair, as Kristi had been popular, although more withdrawn a few months before her death.
The funeral was held on 13th Avenue in the heart of the Cathedral area, an older setting of the city, with beautiful homes dating back to the early 1900's. This area of the city was named aptly because of the huge twin bell towers of the HOLY ROSARY CATHEDRAL, and the majesty of the building. The immediate family was in the side room of the church in the sacristy, where Kristi lay in her casket. The church was filling up rapidly, as the relatives all hugged and tried their best to console one another. The surprising thing was that the bereaved parents were consoling everyone else, but their grief, they would have to deal with later.
Finally the opening strains of the pipe organ began and the family headed to the front pews assigned to them. The church was packed, and it could seat a lot of people. Karen had been asked to sing at the funeral and didn't want to, but for Kristi she would do this. She chose the song YOU, and sang it with such elegance and simplicity. No choirs and no other instruments, just piano accompaniment and her vocal. She had to try with all her might not to break down and cry as she saw all her family, Kristi's friends all in tears. The ending song Karen sang an a cappella version of A SONG FOR YOU/WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN as the pallbearers lifted the closed casket.
They went to bury her at the Regina Cemetery. The procession to the Cemetary was very long, and the day was starting to get colder, windier and cloudy, as if a storm was coming to add to their pain. Karen wanted to cry so bad, but she willed herself not to cry. She would do that later. Karen choked back a sob, when, at the Cemetary, everything was so final when the coffin was being lowered into the ground. She held on firmly to Jon's arms, as if she would collapse.
Catharine and Derrick had aged so much in just the last few weeks they had last seen them. The youthful couple was now looking sorrowful and haggard. The reception afterwards was quiet, and went by in a blur, in Karen's mind. It all seemed like an awful dream, and she would wake up, and Kristi would come bounding in, with a warm smile and her gentleness filling the room. Finally it was all over. She could go back and mourn in private.
They flew back to L.A. the next day, and Karen just felt all numb. She was glad to be back though. When she and Jon saw all their children they screamed for delight. Danny, as they called him looked so healthy and loved his younger siblings. He loved to boss them around, and didn't especially like his younger sister Lindsay hanging around him…although he did like 2 year old brother Stevie, as everyone called him, hanging with him, as a younger bro is apt to with an older bro. Cyndi, as everyone called her, just sat around, and if not that, crawled around. She just watched everyone else. She still had a very quiet disposition. And the twins were too young to do anything, or really notice anything. They were just babies!
And Karen loved all her children. Her gift! She would treasure everyone of them, and be the type of mother, whom her kids could come to about anything, and everything. She would not turn them away, for any reason. She didn't want them to feel the deep insecurity that she felt.
