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Post by Rick Henry on Apr 16, 2006 19:49:24 GMT -5
 I found this following post on another board in this forum. I thought the comments made by it's author, named RC, were interesting. I can relate to some of his feelings.  Man what a loss ...... she was born 1 day earlier than me in March, yet, and sadly, it was 9 years before me. I would have never had a problem telling her that I loved her as her family did and I would have taken care of her like can only be imagined ...... man I always had this humongous crush on her ...... I just wish we could have met and life could have been different .... I know that must sound kinda goofy, but for the millions upon millions of people that loved and admired her, she was “all alone” in this world. I would have caught your back Karen ..... no one would have walked on you with me between them and you !!!!! And you were never a “Chubby Little Sister” !!! I would love to have a nice talk with the idiot that wrote that stupidity and I hope he/she pains over saying it every waking hour they breathe. I know, I know ….. just another Internet Crazy huh and I know I must sound fairly juvenile, but this is how I feel  and this is just purely sad and so unnecessary that it just makes you so bleedin' angry ….. all she needed was a shoulder to lean on that gave her 100/100 in the relationship. She just simply felt she had no control and no “loving support” from those she counted on to give it. So what that there are 40 thousand screaming fans in the audience ?? They were not the ones she counted on for the healing of her soul …. Those that had the chance just plain out dropped the ball and now she is gone. Sweet Angel with the only perfect voice in human history. I am sorry for being so morose, but it is so absolutely sad and the thing is, I just watched the Karen Carpenter Story on one of the movie channels just days ago, so I am still feeling that ….. how coincidental that I find this site so soon after seeing the movie. Oh I have seen it several times, but it kind of ripped me up worse this time around. I miss you sweet Miss Carpenter and “I always will”!!!!! ..............................................................................  RC |
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Dave
Ultra Emissary 
"sleeping in the arms of the cosmos..."
Posts: 1,515
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Post by Dave on Apr 16, 2006 20:27:10 GMT -5
Dear RC:
If you read these words, know that you're not alone in your feelings. I was "dropped off" here about five years too late (1955), and didn't join the "party" until May 30, 2004. If you're new to this, you will run the emotional gamut, traveling from "I don't care" to crying your heart out on the floor, all the while repeating "I would've been good to you."
Rick has seen me go from a newbie, asking why, to being able to say "I understand" to those like yourself, and actually mean it.
Some of it is really fun, a lot of it really hurts, but all of it will change you, and how you view fortune, fame, and the terrible costs involved.
The best part is that you had a crush (nothing to be embarrassed about) and I didn't.
Rick, thanks for posting that. I've shared my emotional rollercoaster over the past two years with you, and we all know what strong emotions this story evokes.
I wonder if RC had a dream...
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Post by Rick Henry on Apr 16, 2006 20:53:43 GMT -5
To this day I also have feelings of bitterness over Karen's death. Why would I feel this way? I never knew her personally. But for some reason Karen's death has affected. I guess because she really seemed to be a beautiful, young, vibrant person with so much to offer.
As many have said; everything happens the ways it's meant to happen. |
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Post by enigma on Apr 17, 2006 20:50:41 GMT -5
Interesting post by RC I have had every thought that he expressed there I have wondered what if?...things turned out different among so many other things. I also feel somewhat cheated by Karens early demise all that music she could have made, missed oportunities to see her in a live setting etc. It is a shame such an amazing talent died so young. But in the end what happened did happen Karen is gone and all I have is the opportunity to remember Karen and share what she means to me with these communities/forums which is not all that bad considering I can't change the past. It gives me great comfort and makes me happy that Karen is remembered here by Rick and so many others. if RC is an internet crazy for missing Karen and feeling sad and angry for what she went through in her life that he has some company including myself alot of what you (RC) feels is how I feel. Thanks for reposting this Rick.   |
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Post by Rick Henry on Apr 17, 2006 21:24:39 GMT -5
Very well said Enigma. Yes, there are sure many missed opportunities. I would have loved to see Karen get into movies. I would have loved to hear the 80's dance pop music that the Carpenters/Karen Carpenter would have recorded. There are so many possiblities of how things could have turned out. |
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Post by smoothie2 on Apr 18, 2006 0:08:49 GMT -5
 :DThanks Rick for posting that, and you all have very aptly expressed the mutual feelings I also have. Even though the movie The K. Carpenter Story, could have been better, it is still an important movie. Others may not come close to understanding why we have this site, we all understand. What the music is still all about...who the C's were, and how we can have this site as our "sounding board". Those big brown eyes, playful, serious, sad, laughing...her VOICE...stops us right there in our tracks...because it's Karen. ;D RC you have presented your thoughts very well. God is the only One Who Truly understands our greif, anger, bitterness, and questions we all ask especially in someone as young and successful as Karen.
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Post by BethMosior on Apr 18, 2006 8:04:25 GMT -5
WOW RC what very moving words thanx for your words, it is so true and it saddens me also of what a great lose of such a wonderful person, such a dear soul Karen is |
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Dave
Ultra Emissary
"sleeping in the arms of the cosmos..."
Posts: 1,515
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Post by Dave on Apr 18, 2006 20:02:44 GMT -5
"Very well said Enigma. Yes, there are sure many missed opportunities. I would have loved to see Karen get into movies. I would have loved to hear the 80's dance pop music that the Carpenters/Karen Carpenter would have recorded. There are so many possiblities of how things could have turned out."
I would've been OK if she'd done as Marie Osmond has done, and left the music biz behind and had a family. Too many roads left unexplored.
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Post by Rick Henry on Apr 18, 2006 22:00:58 GMT -5
I would've been OK if she'd done as Marie Osmond has done, and left the music biz behind and had a family. Too many roads left unexplored. Yes, that would have been wonderful too. Karen raising a family. But you know us fans would still want new music from her. She would have never been able to retire completely - too much demand for Karen Carpenter. |
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pandora
NEW TO THE FAMILY
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Post by pandora on Jan 29, 2008 20:31:35 GMT -5
"Very well said Enigma. Yes, there are sure many missed opportunities. I would have loved to see Karen get into movies. I would have loved to hear the 80's dance pop music that the Carpenters/Karen Carpenter would have recorded. There are so many possiblities of how things could have turned out." I would've been OK if she'd done as Marie Osmond has done, and left the music biz behind and had a family. Too many roads left unexplored. Badabingbadaboom... now you're on the trolly! Sorry... it just came out. In all these years that's the first time I've heard/read anyone say it. Leaving the music/entertainment industry behind... great idea. I mean please don't get me wrong I think her and her brother made some incredible music but Karen Carpenter paid way too high a price. The touring, the stress the isolation the anxiety and the idiotic press. It eroded her self image, destroyed her health and cost Karen her life. Nothing is worth that... not millions of adoring fans, not millions of record sales, not millions of salivating/hand wringing recording executives or the promise of an even more fabulous acting career. I'll keep my ideas about what I think she needed to myself because, never having known her, that would be dumb. But... I think what she didn't need was more of what cost her that sense of self worth that slowly killed her. What she felt was expected of her was too much (unnatural image obsession) and she wouldn't let herself be happy with who she naturally was. Sorry if I sound a bit pissed but I would love to know she faked her own death, changed her name and bought a place with a nice white picket fence where she could play softball with some real friends, eat a pizza and smile.  |
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Dave
Ultra Emissary
"sleeping in the arms of the cosmos..."
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Post by Dave on Jan 29, 2008 21:20:31 GMT -5
Hi, Pandora,
I haven't had time to stop in every day with work going as it is, but I stopped in tonight after finishing an hour with the OSHA 30 hour contractor's course...and liked what I read.
As we stand here closing in on the 25th anniversary, I would hope, like you, that she'd faked her passing and has been happily married and living well in Tucumcari these past 25 years.
Or, like Elvis at the end of "Men in Black", she just went home.
I've been following a blog on MSN about anorexia...I ran across it by accident and was amazed to see that Meg and her husband hail from Pittsburgh as do I.
It's saddening to read that this specter of eating disorders still haunts us even today. If Karen's mission is to show up in thedreams of those wrestling the demons, she's quite busy indeed.
She was the quintessential "girl next door", short, brown hair and eyes, a bit tomboyish...every neighborhood has one. The one thing she had which we consider a blessing, her musical talents, in effect became as a millstone. Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Life is clearer in the rear-view mirror...especially once you pass 50.
Today, we read all about another young female singer, Britney Spears, and all we can do is watch as she spirals ever closer towards the event horizon of self-destruction. You can bet that every day her mailboxes are full to overflowing with missives from her multitude of fans, but does she ever read them? No. She employs people to do that, and they shield her from the public.
But somewhere in the pileup is some young guy who truly loves her as a person, for who she truly is, but the truth is that Britney herself does not know who she is. And because her staff of lackeys has a vested interest in the status quo, they're of no help to her.
History has this blasted way of repeating itself.
What Karen needed was freedom...freedom to run her life and affairs without interference from the lackeys the family employed to insulate the"goose" that laid the golden eggs from the real world.
I've been married nearly 29 years to a woman I've known for 31 years, so I think that I'm doing something right. But being involved with someone with an ED is akin to being involved with someone who abuses controlled substances. You can't change them or their behavior, only they can make that decision. What you have to do is to give them the reason, and be there when they inevitably slip backwards towards that gravity well. You also cannot be judgmental.
Karen wanted what I, and a lot of people, have. A loving home, children, supportive friends and family. Christmases singing in church. Summer vacations. Playing baseball with her children at the Field of Dreams movie site in Iowa.
She had an extraordinary voice, to be sure. But after the lights went out and the crowds went home, crying yourself to sleep in a different hotel room every night is not the way she wanted to live her life.
And she was never allowed to change anything...that's the key.
It's OK to be angry, because you'll end up crying it all out. It's the only way.
I wonder if there'll be an impromptu memorial service at the mausoleum Monday morning...
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Post by Rick Henry on Jan 29, 2008 23:46:41 GMT -5
Badabingbadaboom... now you're on the trolly! Sorry... it just came out. In all these years that's the first time I've heard/read anyone say it. Leaving the music/entertainment industry behind... great idea. I mean please don't get me wrong I think her and her brother made some incredible music but Karen Carpenter paid way too high a price. The touring, the stress the isolation the anxiety and the idiotic press. It eroded her self image, destroyed her health and cost Karen her life. Nothing is worth that... not millions of adoring fans, not millions of record sales, not millions of salivating/hand wringing recording executives or the promise of an even more fabulous acting career. I'll keep my ideas about what I think she needed to myself because, never having known her, that would be dumb. But... I think what she didn't need was more of what cost her that sense of self worth that slowly killed her. What she felt was expected of her was too much (unnatural image obsession) and she wouldn't let herself be happy with who she naturally was. Sorry if I sound a bit pissed but I would love to know she faked her own death, changed her name and bought a place with a nice white picket fence where she could play softball with some real friends, eat a pizza and smile. |
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pandora
NEW TO THE FAMILY
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Post by pandora on Jan 30, 2008 2:25:14 GMT -5
Hello Dave and Rick too,
The comment about Karen Carpenter faking her death was just a silly thought sort of like what Jim Morrison fans dream up but to me her passing was just as tragic as that of so many others who leave before their time (superstar or otherwise). As much as Morrison's or Hendrix's or Joplin's or Moon's or Bonham's or Croce's or Vaughan's or Barrett's or Zappa's or Rogers' or Denver's... the list is endless...
There was always something about The Carpenter's music that touched me in a way no one else's could. Being a fan back in the seventies was a very uncool thing for a teenager with an image to protect. There's that word again. IMAGE... eventually most people grow out of their image obsession at least to the point where if someone doesn't like your image, or is rude and obnoxious about it, you won't dwell on it. Unfortunately when you're wrapped in the entertainment industry your image is virtually everything. Everything hangs on that image and no matter how talented you are that image has to be at least pleasing to millions of fans. It must be difficult for any young lady to keep in check but when your livelihood (and your family's happiness) depends on it that has to strengthen the obsession. To me anorexia is a symptom of media brainwashing! Anyway, I've never seen MEN IN BLACK but I know Karen Carpenter did just go home even though that's probably not what you were saying. I agree she truly is/was an angel and she was good for this 'era' but I don't think for a second it was good for her.
Rick mentioned that he'd lost his bitterness and that has to be a good thing. Unfortunately for me it has a tendency to resurface when I listen to The Carpenters music which sort of taints it a little. So I put on a mixed CD of Al Di Meola, Herbie Hancock, John McLaughlin, America, Family, Brand X, Spyro Gyra, Kenny Burrell, Yes and Tears For Fears while writing this. I'm going to get some sleep... wake me up when things get started and everything starts to happen.
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Post by beaner on Jan 30, 2008 6:18:10 GMT -5
Very touching thoughts by RC. I agree totally. Nine years later for me too.
Karen was spectacular and I miss her and the music every day!
Thanks for sharing that again, Rick. I missed it the first time around.
Beaner
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Post by Rick Henry on Feb 2, 2008 10:54:16 GMT -5
Rick mentioned that he'd lost his bitterness and that has to be a good thing. Unfortunately for me it has a tendency to resurface when I listen to The Carpenters music which sort of taints it a little. So I put on a mixed CD of Al Di Meola, Herbie Hancock, John McLaughlin, America, Family, Brand X, Spyro Gyra, Kenny Burrell, Yes and Tears For Fears while writing this. I'm going to get some sleep... wake me up when things get started and everything starts to happen. |
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