Post by cam83 on Sept 25, 2003 13:38:17 GMT -5
Chapter Three
In her vast apartment, Karen could see traces of what she thought was the love of her life. She wasn't sure. She could see the dinner table, where she and Tom had a midnight snack. The couch where they had been intimate, where she felt like a woman. The bathroom where they had kissed. The wall where they made love against. Everywhere she turned, it seemed had a story. If only the walls could tell, what tales they could tell. She was rummaging around, and found a shirt of his. She lifted it to her face, and she could still smell the scent of his.
She remembered the last time she had ever seen him. At her parent's home, where they got into a heavy argument, and he finally was disgusted with her, her anorexia and he left.
A tear ran down, as she remembered that moment. Of feeling not good enough. If only she could have been the perfect wife. The pain was still real to her, but she understood why he left. She and Steven had discussed this many times during her therapy sessions. He just couldn't handle it anymore. Her anorexia was destroying their marriage. Her show business life was too much a part of her life, and there didn't seem to be enough for Tom to fit into the picture. Anorexia was so much like being an alcoholic, the addiction not only affected the victim, but also their loved ones who watched their intended suffer, and live in daily denial. Anorexia was a sophisticated slow form of suicide.
If only she had been better, than maybe they would still be together again. She picked up a photo of him and her together looking so happy and so much in love. What had gone wrong? Did he still think of her?
She started to feel tired, so she lay down on the sofa, with the shirt draped over her. Florine was there, doing some various chores around Karen's condo. Karen liked Florine, and they would chat about this and that. They weren't terribly close, and yet in some weird way they were. They were good friends just trying to make their own way in the world, and it felt good to talk to someone she felt that she could trust, a person not involved in show business. Not that she didn't trust her other celebrity friends, but she knew that many people would pretend to be her friend because of the status it brought to them. Karen felt that she was the type of person who would keep trusting anyone, regardless of race, color or status.
She had met so many wonderful people from every country of the world, and it had opened her eyes to how the world operated. In her years in the show business world, she had learned a lot, but also had made mistakes and learned the way to survive.
"Karen! What would you like me to do with this platinum album, that's just sitting here? Do you want me to put it up, or what?" asked Florine. Karen had just recently received several gold and platinum album awards, and she hadn't gotten around to putting them up. She was just too exhausted. Without opening her eyes, Karen said, "Just put it in the hall closet for now. I'll decide later what to do with it."
Karen drifted back into her thoughts, and she knew that 4 days had passed since she left her Mom and Dad's. She had still not heard from her Mom. She wished that she could have done what her mother asked her. She should have stayed, and that way, everyone would have been happy, except her. Her happiness was not important, especially when her mother got hurt. How could she live when her Mom was ignoring her? And yet, she knew that this was the way things would always be.
Her Mom was just a very dominant type of person. Actually Karen reflected in some way that Karen and Agnes were very similar in some ways and that kind of frightened her. Maybe that was why there was no closeness there that Karen saw in other relationships of her friends' families.
She decided that tomorrow she would head over there, plus she wanted to visit with Evelyn Wallace, who was their personal secretary, and the Carpenters fan club secretary. She wanted to check some of the fan mail, and she knew that tons of letters and cards would have pored in by now.
She just couldn't believe how loyal and loving her fans were. She and Rich thought that they had the best fans in the world. Any time anything exciting happened in their careers, they received lots of congratulatory letters and cards. And never mind their birthdays, they received wonderful gifts the world over. It would be nice to respond to some of them, especially with autographs that they would cherish.
The next morning, Karen awoke and grabbed some toast and a glass of orange juice. She was very nervous, and she hadn't slept too well last night. She just wanted to get this over with. She had fixed her appearance, put on some light make-up, and wore a new blouse she had bought a few days before.
All of her clothes that she had worn when she was 80 pounds did not fit her too well, so she had bought some new outfits. She still needed more, so as a peace offering, she would ask her mother if they could go shopping together. Maybe this would soothe and melt her mother, so that they would be on talking terms again. She turned the radio on, as she seated herself into her jaguar. She put on her sunglasses as she drove out of the driveway.
Soon she was out onto the freeway. It was a beautiful day, and miracle of miracles, the song that began to play was TOP OF THE WORLD. Funny! Karen began to laugh, and sing along to the magical voice on the radio. "I'm on the top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find…something in the wind has learned my name, and it's telling me that things are not the same…in the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze…"
In her vast apartment, Karen could see traces of what she thought was the love of her life. She wasn't sure. She could see the dinner table, where she and Tom had a midnight snack. The couch where they had been intimate, where she felt like a woman. The bathroom where they had kissed. The wall where they made love against. Everywhere she turned, it seemed had a story. If only the walls could tell, what tales they could tell. She was rummaging around, and found a shirt of his. She lifted it to her face, and she could still smell the scent of his.
She remembered the last time she had ever seen him. At her parent's home, where they got into a heavy argument, and he finally was disgusted with her, her anorexia and he left.
A tear ran down, as she remembered that moment. Of feeling not good enough. If only she could have been the perfect wife. The pain was still real to her, but she understood why he left. She and Steven had discussed this many times during her therapy sessions. He just couldn't handle it anymore. Her anorexia was destroying their marriage. Her show business life was too much a part of her life, and there didn't seem to be enough for Tom to fit into the picture. Anorexia was so much like being an alcoholic, the addiction not only affected the victim, but also their loved ones who watched their intended suffer, and live in daily denial. Anorexia was a sophisticated slow form of suicide.
If only she had been better, than maybe they would still be together again. She picked up a photo of him and her together looking so happy and so much in love. What had gone wrong? Did he still think of her?
She started to feel tired, so she lay down on the sofa, with the shirt draped over her. Florine was there, doing some various chores around Karen's condo. Karen liked Florine, and they would chat about this and that. They weren't terribly close, and yet in some weird way they were. They were good friends just trying to make their own way in the world, and it felt good to talk to someone she felt that she could trust, a person not involved in show business. Not that she didn't trust her other celebrity friends, but she knew that many people would pretend to be her friend because of the status it brought to them. Karen felt that she was the type of person who would keep trusting anyone, regardless of race, color or status.
She had met so many wonderful people from every country of the world, and it had opened her eyes to how the world operated. In her years in the show business world, she had learned a lot, but also had made mistakes and learned the way to survive.
"Karen! What would you like me to do with this platinum album, that's just sitting here? Do you want me to put it up, or what?" asked Florine. Karen had just recently received several gold and platinum album awards, and she hadn't gotten around to putting them up. She was just too exhausted. Without opening her eyes, Karen said, "Just put it in the hall closet for now. I'll decide later what to do with it."
Karen drifted back into her thoughts, and she knew that 4 days had passed since she left her Mom and Dad's. She had still not heard from her Mom. She wished that she could have done what her mother asked her. She should have stayed, and that way, everyone would have been happy, except her. Her happiness was not important, especially when her mother got hurt. How could she live when her Mom was ignoring her? And yet, she knew that this was the way things would always be.
Her Mom was just a very dominant type of person. Actually Karen reflected in some way that Karen and Agnes were very similar in some ways and that kind of frightened her. Maybe that was why there was no closeness there that Karen saw in other relationships of her friends' families.
She decided that tomorrow she would head over there, plus she wanted to visit with Evelyn Wallace, who was their personal secretary, and the Carpenters fan club secretary. She wanted to check some of the fan mail, and she knew that tons of letters and cards would have pored in by now.
She just couldn't believe how loyal and loving her fans were. She and Rich thought that they had the best fans in the world. Any time anything exciting happened in their careers, they received lots of congratulatory letters and cards. And never mind their birthdays, they received wonderful gifts the world over. It would be nice to respond to some of them, especially with autographs that they would cherish.
The next morning, Karen awoke and grabbed some toast and a glass of orange juice. She was very nervous, and she hadn't slept too well last night. She just wanted to get this over with. She had fixed her appearance, put on some light make-up, and wore a new blouse she had bought a few days before.
All of her clothes that she had worn when she was 80 pounds did not fit her too well, so she had bought some new outfits. She still needed more, so as a peace offering, she would ask her mother if they could go shopping together. Maybe this would soothe and melt her mother, so that they would be on talking terms again. She turned the radio on, as she seated herself into her jaguar. She put on her sunglasses as she drove out of the driveway.
Soon she was out onto the freeway. It was a beautiful day, and miracle of miracles, the song that began to play was TOP OF THE WORLD. Funny! Karen began to laugh, and sing along to the magical voice on the radio. "I'm on the top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find…something in the wind has learned my name, and it's telling me that things are not the same…in the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze…"
